Wasn't that fun? Space Clearing for our friend the other day? I'm grateful to continue to refine the process with the two of you. I know with certainty that what we do together is a powerful technique. I sincerely hope it's helpful for the life transitions that will be going down in that home in the coming weeks, months and years.
We've been at it for some time. I found this picture from well over a year ago:
How time flies... and yet there we are in the same white dresses, this time a dinner at my house:
I guess my point is that we are establishing a lovely form of magic - one many forms, I might add! And I do sincerely mean magic. There really isn't another word for it. Our work together is vibrant, uplifting, practical and incredibly efficient. That's magic, yo!
I liked how we sang together. That's something new that happened. Our combined voices felt like a soothing, comforting balm that vibrated into the walls of the house itself. (Maybe sometime when the three of us are in Austin we could record What's My Name together? I know just the guy to do it.) I also liked how we did the big candles properly. That still feels like it snapped everything together, energetically. In my mind's eye those points of light are still burning bright, day and night. I'll edit the technique document with some of the new stuff we did and post it here soon. Anyone can do what we do. In fact, I'd encourage it! Space Clearing has really changed my life for the better. And once you know how it works, it seems really obvious and like it might even be just good hygiene in general. You know?
It's a privilege to work with y'all. May we continue to learn and grow while allowing the pure clarity of a beginner's mind to shine forth. May it be so.
Throughout my life, I've noticed this recurring archetype show her head (as well as teeth and claws alike) over and over again: the threatened alpha female. Like many women have experienced, this alpha female type is not to be reckoned with--unless you are okay with succumbing to her want for power over you and rolling over on your back like a passive (and sometimes really cute) puppy. For years, instead of rolling over in passivity, I tried to keep my personal power and get her approval at the same time. Funny, right?
After 34 years, this archetype of the threatened alpha female and I reached our pinnacle. In a nutshell, I was told I can no longer do what I love doing (serving those in a certain hospice) because of this woman and our relationship dynamics. She was threatened because I was singing my song, shining my light, and I fell into the trap of trying to get her to see a light she didn't want to see, rather a light she tried repeatedly to dim. As heartbroken as I have been over this, I am also grateful because now I can free myself from these chains she had on me and see this situation I've faced over and over again in life more clearly.
We get so used to operating in an unconscious habitual way that has been passed down through generations of women -- operating out of lack and scarcity rather than abundance, where there is enough (jobs, relationships, love) for everyone and my power doesn’t threaten your power. Being human, we are going to have murky feelings triggered by certain people in our life. However, we have a choice in how to act on those feelings. We can either “feed the beast” and allow the animal instinct (reptilian brain) sides of ourselves to rule our actions, tear each other down and strive to have worldly power over one another; or we can wake up from this old pattern and choose act out of our higher, more evolved self.
A quote struck me recently while reading "Women Who Run With the Wolves" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes: " The vision a woman has for her own life can also be decimated in the flames of someone's jealousy or someone's plain-out destructiveness toward her. Family, mentors, teachers, and friends are not supposed to be destructive if and when they feel envy, but some decidedly are, in both subtle and not-so-subtle ways. No woman can afford to let her creative life hang by a thread while she serves an antagonistic love relationship, parent, teacher, or friend."
I see how destructive it is (mainly to myself) to try and win the approval and play on the playground of life with this threatened alpha woman who is not willing to open her heart and take the higher road-- it’s simply a drain of energy and creative fire. Sure, I will likely run across her again, but I will no longer play in her sandbox. If she is open and willing to try a new and more evolved way to play, I will be happy to show her to the swing set where we can swing, play, and fly together.
Releasing myself from these chains she has had on me, I will spend my time and energy on the side of the playground where my friends, business transactions, interactions, and loved ones play fair. Where we all have space to shine, where we help each other to evolve and be our best self, and where there is an environment that allows for everyone to fly their own flight and sing their own song. After all, we really are stronger together.
I've spent some time over the last few months allowing myself to explore and feel the fire-y feelings of anger--the kind of anger where your hands are literally shaking and you can't help but scream (my choice is in the car) with rage. What's this anger about? It's about all the injustices of the world, people hurting and oppressing people, violence, animal abuse, the beast that feeds the illusory separation of our brothers and sisters, blind patriarchy, and the fact that there are people in the world starving and without clean water to drink. It's also about 34 years of not expressing my anger, because in my unconscious mind, anger was not an acceptable emotion to feel. It makes others uncomfortable, so the only safe thing to do is suppress and bury it. Through finally allowing myself the freedom to recognize, feel, and consciously express this anger within me, the "anger dragon" has become more of a friend than an enemy. Anger-- just like any feeling, just wants to be seen and felt, and at times, even held with compassion. What I have learned, and hope to continue to learn, is that we can use anger to bring more justice, peace, and compassion into the world. Yes, feel the anger with all the world's injustices! This is not the time to turn a blind eye to all the darkness and destruction that pervades us-- but how can we be productive with our expenditure of this anger energy? We can either react to this anger and feed the beast by starving it and projecting more anger and hatred onto it, or we can give it clean water to drink and healthy food to eat through being present with it and allowing it to flow through us rather than circle around us, or even stay stuck and buried within us. It's safe to say that it's transformed and consciously used anger that has been a big piece in helping me bring the vision for STARANA into being. My prayer and intent is to strive to use this anger as fuel to my fire to take action when and where appropriate: to bring in justice and peace where there is injustice and fear *(Inspired from the Prayer of St. Francis). Holding strong and faithful to what is good, and that which is grounded in love.
It's Epiphany! Audah and Aujah - we aren't the only Adepts of Magic 'round here and so it seems to be a timely and appropriate day to post the first conversation in what I hope will be a series. Here, Tracy Popken and I discuss her design process, how she had a "burning bush" moment in college to uncover what she loved to do, being passionate about growing as a human and the power of a personal uniform. As y'all know, Tracy has been working with me since last June on a personal uniform, a real game-changer in my day to day reality to be sure. We discuss this in detail together for the very first time.
The conversation we had lasts about an hour and dives deep into fashion, fearlessness and wisdom-bombs about plans, patterns and even spreadsheets. Thank you, Tracy - it was super fun to chat and wax philosophic about all of it! Epiphanal and timeless at the same time. Y'all enjoy. May it be so.
I feel compelled to share a meditation that came to me at the ranch over the holidays. I guess it came the day after Christmas and I've been using it every night since then on myself. It sprang forth from reading a stack of books that one of my teachers gave me and was inspired by the ranch vacuum cleaner cord of all things! In my reading I was alerted again to the phenomenon of bringing your energy in at night, having read about this before from a trustworthy source and not just an internet rabbit hole (y'all know how we do sometimes with these kinds of topics). That is, the practice of going through the motions of cutting cords and clearing energy before going to bed as a legit evening ritual. To bring that energy in and keep it close with a soft, loving glow for any passing spirits in the night and for your own restful sleep.
Later I realized the energy of this meditation is lovingly similar to the energy of Mary and Isis - the two goddesses I was actively working with during Christmas week. Isis was holding down the fort at work while Mary was riding around in my journal, having been my sub-woofer goddess for the last several months.
Anyway, it's working for me. Thought I'd share in case it works for you too. Better yet, write and record your own to sleep to.... You are safe. You are loved. Sleep well, little one.