I've spent some time over the last few months allowing myself to explore and feel the fire-y feelings of anger--the kind of anger where your hands are literally shaking and you can't help but scream (my choice is in the car) with rage. What's this anger about? It's about all the injustices of the world, people hurting and oppressing people, violence, animal abuse, the beast that feeds the illusory separation of our brothers and sisters, blind patriarchy, and the fact that there are people in the world starving and without clean water to drink. It's also about 34 years of not expressing my anger, because in my unconscious mind, anger was not an acceptable emotion to feel. It makes others uncomfortable, so the only safe thing to do is suppress and bury it. Through finally allowing myself the freedom to recognize, feel, and consciously express this anger within me, the "anger dragon" has become more of a friend than an enemy. Anger-- just like any feeling, just wants to be seen and felt, and at times, even held with compassion. What I have learned, and hope to continue to learn, is that we can use anger to bring more justice, peace, and compassion into the world. Yes, feel the anger with all the world's injustices! This is not the time to turn a blind eye to all the darkness and destruction that pervades us-- but how can we be productive with our expenditure of this anger energy? We can either react to this anger and feed the beast by starving it and projecting more anger and hatred onto it, or we can give it clean water to drink and healthy food to eat through being present with it and allowing it to flow through us rather than circle around us, or even stay stuck and buried within us. It's safe to say that it's transformed and consciously used anger that has been a big piece in helping me bring the vision for STARANA into being. My prayer and intent is to strive to use this anger as fuel to my fire to take action when and where appropriate: to bring in justice and peace where there is injustice and fear *(Inspired from the Prayer of St. Francis). Holding strong and faithful to what is good, and that which is grounded in love.
It's Epiphany! Audah and Aujah - we aren't the only Adepts of Magic 'round here and so it seems to be a timely and appropriate day to post the first conversation in what I hope will be a series. Here, Tracy Popken and I discuss her design process, how she had a "burning bush" moment in college to uncover what she loved to do, being passionate about growing as a human and the power of a personal uniform. As y'all know, Tracy has been working with me since last June on a personal uniform, a real game-changer in my day to day reality to be sure. We discuss this in detail together for the very first time.
The conversation we had lasts about an hour and dives deep into fashion, fearlessness and wisdom-bombs about plans, patterns and even spreadsheets. Thank you, Tracy - it was super fun to chat and wax philosophic about all of it! Epiphanal and timeless at the same time. Y'all enjoy. May it be so.
I feel compelled to share a meditation that came to me at the ranch over the holidays. I guess it came the day after Christmas and I've been using it every night since then on myself. It sprang forth from reading a stack of books that one of my teachers gave me and was inspired by the ranch vacuum cleaner cord of all things! In my reading I was alerted again to the phenomenon of bringing your energy in at night, having read about this before from a trustworthy source and not just an internet rabbit hole (y'all know how we do sometimes with these kinds of topics). That is, the practice of going through the motions of cutting cords and clearing energy before going to bed as a legit evening ritual. To bring that energy in and keep it close with a soft, loving glow for any passing spirits in the night and for your own restful sleep.
Later I realized the energy of this meditation is lovingly similar to the energy of Mary and Isis - the two goddesses I was actively working with during Christmas week. Isis was holding down the fort at work while Mary was riding around in my journal, having been my sub-woofer goddess for the last several months.
Anyway, it's working for me. Thought I'd share in case it works for you too. Better yet, write and record your own to sleep to.... You are safe. You are loved. Sleep well, little one.